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October 2016
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Saturday October 3rd 1992 will be a day etched into my memories forever.

Or so I had thought.

It was on this day, October 3rd, that is, 24 years ago, that I discovered my husband was having sex with men.

Which in the crevices of my mind, meant he was gay.

Which at the very least meant, he was no longer the straight man I had believed him to be for years prior.

Which meant, he was anything but.

He was bent in ways I couldn’t have even begun to have imagined, had it not been playing out in my real life.

He wasn’t gay or so he’d tell me.

Yet I was convinced he was, for years.

Tell me what man who has sex with men, isn’t gay?

How could these men be anything but?

My conditioning had led me to this belief and it took me many a year to release its hold over me.

Absorbing the reality that my husband was indeed what he, eventually, told me he was, as far as his sexual expression goes – bisexual.

A man who swings more ways than one.

So what’s so important about this date today? Given it’s the morning of the 14th October 2016, well it is in the glorious part of the world I reside in.

It wasn’t until last night, I realised October 3rd had been and gone and I didn’t even give it a second thought nor a first one at that.

No memory recall of this day having any significance to me at all.
Not an itch.
Not a scratch.
Not a tug on my heart strings.
No murmur in my cellular memory.

October 3rd has no hold over me any more whatsoever. A date I had believed would haunt me for the rest of my living life, and then some.

For years the approach of this date had me dreading its appearance.

Its recollection of my once happily ever after being so savagely ripped away from my once delicate and innocent hands.

Over the years, and years, and years, its hold over me relaxed to a degree I could breathe again, as I was no longer strangled by what it once held me too.

I was still aware of its presence.

No scathing attachments.

In later years it became a marker of how far I’d come.

How far we’d come, together, to build the relationship we love and have grown into today.

For it to pass this year with me completely missing it.

That’s freedom.
That’s healing at its very core.
That’s forgiveness.
Love, in the most unconditional kind.

It’s how I roll now.

It’s how we roll now.

As Rachel Hunter once said for an ad campaign she was doing at the time on Aussie TV, “it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen”.

In other words, it does get better.

It really, truly, in all honesty does get better.

It may take a lot of hard work.
Overcoming heartache.
Negotiating and renegotiating, again and again and again.
It will definitely take working on yourself.

Freeing yourself from societies conditioning, conformity and piercing eyes.
Letting go of what other people think of you and how you choose to live your life with your bisexual husband (partner).
It requires you to choose your own adventure – design your own relationship. One that works for the two of you and your children (if you have any).
Which also means, making up your own rules.

Yes, it will most certainly take forgiveness.
Love, lots and lots of love, including love for self.
Communicating effectively.
And time.
Plenty of time, if so be.

If you remember nothing else, please remember, you are worth it.
The bisexual man in your life, he’s worth it too.
Your relationship is also worth it.

Watch This Space!

Big changes are a coming.


New look, new site, new content, new services.


Plus a shop with an eBook version of ‘Sexual Biversity, loving my bisexual husband’ as well.


All going according to plan it will be live within the week.


So please drop by regularly to check our progress, so you don’t miss it!


The 4 C’s in Relationship

Conditioning, communication, choice and courage.

If you’re use to travelling in huge swells, torrential rains, cyclonic conditions in a rusty leaky vessel, etc., etc., what’s it going to take to navigate your relationship with your bisexual husband (partner), into steady smooth sailings on calm waters, with sunny days a plenty?

There are a few key areas to look at, which can create the most impact on getting you safely through the storm.

Before anything else, have a good long look at what you value, believe, accept as being your truth when it comes to relationships, the sanctity of marriage and what it is you’ve taken on board as being your own, through unconscious conditioning.

Many of my own beliefs, values and what I would and wouldn’t accept as being acceptable in my relationship, were run by my conditioning, unbeknownst to me at the time. It wasn’t until I started seeking my truth and asking who owns this – belief, value, acceptance or not – that I discovered so much of what I’d allowed into my being, didn’t serve me nor the way I chose to live my life with my bisexual husband, Andrew.

It was other people’s stuff.
There projections.

For instance, a marriage must be one of a monogamous nature, at all times.
After believing this to be true for decades I asked myself, is this actually true for me?
Is this true for everyone?
If so many people cheat, how can this be true?

Our relationship.
Our rules.

So, no, this wasn’t true for me, for us.

Or, once the trust is broken you can never gain it back. You’ll always be suspicious of his whereabouts. Who he’s with, what they’re doing. Your imagination will run wild.
Is this true either?
For me, again, no, this isn’t true.

Think about the values, beliefs and what you will and won’t accept in your life and ask yourself if they are true for you, or if they are even yours to begin with.

I bet you’ll be hanging on to some that belong to others and don’t align for you at all.

Be honest with yourself.
Be kind and gentle too.

There’s no wrongness here. Simply an opportunity to explore and release.

What society says is true, the way you “should” be living your life, morally, ethically, right, wrong, good, bad, under the eyes of the law and so forth, in a relationship built for two, one man, one woman – you be the judge.

Once you’ve established what beliefs are yours, then you can begin to communicate effectively. Prior to knowing your own values, beliefs, acceptance levels, your communication could be very messy, highly volatile, blaming, irrational, going round in circles, etc.

Remember to breathe, put your hand on your heart if need be and do your best to communicate with the facts. Not the story, not from the victims’ voice, the facts.

By all means, if a betrayal has taken place, you have every right to feel hurt, angry, confused and so forth. Please don’t allow those emotions to rule your rationality nor your happily ever after. Surrender to them, don’t allow them to control you.

I get it’s easy for me to say, sitting here, 23 years post disclosure. I’ve been through the ringer, washed ashore and waited for the rescue plane to arrive. I did it the hard way. Starving myself for years, waiting, waiting, waiting to be rescued by someone else.

It’s through this wisdom, my experiences thus far, I can suggest an alternative passage for you to do it differently, easier. I can be your light house to assist in navigating your voyage home safely. If you so, choose.

There are plenty of tools around, books, workshops, websites, when it comes to learning how to communicate effectively, if you’re not already skilled in this area. If it’s too hard at the beginning and you require some assistance, ask for it.

Seek out someone, a counsellor, psychologist, mentor, life coach, etc., who can mediate with you. You most certainly don’t have to do any of this alone. It may take you a few attempts to find someone whom you feel comfortable with and that’s ok. If you’re like me, you don’t usually buy the first pair of shoes you try on. You shop around until you find that perfect fit. Same goes with finding the best person to assist you both in healing your relationship.

Be mindful, communication is a two-way street. Yes, its most definitely about speaking your voice. It’s also about listening and I mean really listening to what’s being said, as well as what’s not being said between the two of you. Don’t feel you have to respond straight away either. Allow yourself some time to digest what your hearing. Take a breath, then “respond” accordingly. I say “respond”, as more often than not, under delicate circumstances, it’s easy to react than it is to respond. Remember to breathe, keep breathing. Calmly. As calmly as you can and respond with ease.For effective communication to take place you both have to be open. There’s no point starting a dialogue if you’re already closed down, fully on the defence or on the attack for that matter, decided on the outcome, not willing to budge etc., or right. It won’t serve either of you.

Set up a time when you both feel ready, willing and able to go there, to the nitty, gritty, deep, dark crevices of the conversation that has to happen. You may find you start with short bursts, until you can both sit comfortably, as comfortably as you can be under the circumstances, then progress for longer periods at a time, with open, effective communication.

And have a satiated tummy too. Don’t ever begin a conversation, a deep and meaningful, when you’re hungry.

Effective communication is key.

Come from a place of love.
Leave your ego at the door.
Be open.
Be honest.
Deal with the facts.
Agree on the terms that will work for the two of you.
Leave the conversation, both feeling empowered.

Trial and error.

If at first you don’t succeed, have another go and never make yourself or each other wrong if you don’t get it the first time, nor the second…

With every conversation, with every piece of conditioning you’ve allowed, choice is your biggest ally.

Know in every given moment you have choice.
You choose your own meaning.
You choose how you feel.
You choose what does and doesn’t work with the conditions, boundaries, etc., of your relationship. Not anyone else. You along with your husband. You choose the rules and how to play the game. For whether we like it or not, life is a game and it’s how we choose to play it that makes all the difference.

The choice is yours.

Don’t forgive.
Be monogamous.
Don’t be monogamous.

Create the relationship you both choose to have.

The choice is for the two of you to make. Not me, not them, no one else, you two.

When choosing to stay in the relationship and give it a go, know that this decision is for the two of you to make. One choosing, cannot carry the other if they don’t want to be there anymore. You’ll be fighting a losing battle if you do.

Both hearts have to be in it.

It takes courage to embark upon a journey such as yours.
It takes courage to let go of conditioning and the way you believe your relationship “should” be, look like.
It takes courage to communicate effectively from a place of love when you’re hurting, confused, angry inside.
It takes courage to make choices that may appear radical, unrealistic, detrimental to your health, your children’s health, seen as disgusting, etc., when choosing to stay in a relationship with a bisexual man.
It takes courage to honour your worth, your husbands worth, the worth of your relationship and the worth of your family.
It takes courage to forgive and over time forget.
It takes courage to be courageous.
It takes time too.

Give yourself the best opportunities for a successful outcome.

You and your relationship are worth it.


In honour of today being International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexism and Transphobia, I wrote a little poem.


A hug and a kiss,
IDAHoBIT is this!
I’ll give you some more,
For my bisexual husband I do so adore,
To my friends and family still fighting for your rights,
I trust this day brings your plight some well deserved light,
For let us not fear the diversity in life,
Nor hate, or discrimination that leads us in strife,
Love and acceptance is what we choose,
It’s not a game, nor a win or a lose,
It’s a fact, we are one,
All inclusive, never to be undone,
So stand up tall,
Shine unconditional love on us all.



A Woman Who

You may have thought I wasn’t coming back, since I hadn’t dropped by for such a long time. The good news is, I’m here to assist you once more. My apologies for my absence, for I wasn’t nearly as ready as I thought I was to get into some regular dialogue when I returned from my lengthy hiatus, after ill health in 2014.

Trusting I am now.

I am shocked it has been that long.

Oh well, it is what it is.

So what’s been happening over the past year or so?

The big news is, Andrew, my bisexual husband and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary early in December last year. Who would’ve ever thought that would be possible, especially once I found out he was keeping such a huge part of himself secret from me (and the rest of the world), twenty-three years ago? If you had asked me back then, I would’ve said there’s no way we would still be together, let alone more in love, twenty-three years on post disclosure.

Thank goodness miracles do exist.

I exist.

For what kind of woman could continue to love and be in love with a man whom has sex, or fantasises about having sex with men and her?

A woman who is sure of herself and her relationship with her beloved.

A woman who can forgive, trust, negotiate, learn, laugh, re-evaluate and stand in her truth, again and again.

A woman who feels the fear and does it anyway and knows the difference between fear and danger.

A woman who loves unconditionally and is no longer blinded by the restraints of wanna-be dictators.

A woman who does not conform nor follow the pack.

A woman who no longer compares herself to others.

A woman who seeks authenticity, connection, honesty, individuality, open communication – in speaking and listening, trust, intimacy, freedom and love.

A woman who does not live in a box, who’s beyond the norm, a step aside her comfort zone, feet firmly planted in the real world.

A woman who questions everything.

A woman who makes the rules up as she goes along, yet knows her boundaries.

A woman who is willing to give it a go.

A woman who gets knocked down and gets back up again.

A woman of strength, conviction, power, softness, subtleness, empowerment.

A woman open to possibilities, including the impossible – for I’m possible.

A woman who lives in the now.

A woman who trusts the process of life.

A woman who dances in her dark, the same way she dances in her light.

A woman who is so much more than mere words on paper.

A woman of worth.

A woman full of self-love and love for others.

A woman who didn’t know she could do it, until she did it!

This is the woman I’ve become, becoming, ever changing, ever evolving, ever new.

A self-made woman.


To the women reading this,

What kind of woman are you?

Do you embody any of these traits?


To the men reading this,

What kind of woman do you love?

Does the woman you love embody any of these traits?


Are there any other traits you recommend in this situation?


A woman who…


Hello beautiful people,

Remembering I’m no expert in the field of sex, sexuality, relationships and so forth. I have no formal qualifications whatsoever. I have no looking glass, crystal ball, or mind reading abilities (not yet anyway!). I do however have over two decades of resources collated, knowledge obtained, wisdom sourced, lessons learnt, literature read, experiences gained, decisions made, self reviewed, all from my days dedicated to the relationship I have with my bisexual husband being the best it possibly can be.

What I do know for a fact, without any shred of a doubt – a relationship like mine, loving a bisexual man can be a happy, fulfilling, successful, sensual, sexual and intimate one, on all levels. It isn’t reserved for the fittest, the healthiest, the richest, the biggest, and the best…it is for anyone willing and able to go there. To put in the hard miles, if required. To negotiate and renegotiate. To seek assistance. To make mistakes. To forgive. To trust. To create. To laugh. To love. To live!

Sure it’s not your “traditional” run of the mill kind of relationship that is understood or even accepted in the eyes of all. It is different, I can guarantee you that! If that’s the one thing stopping you from creating the love and life you want, the “what will people think of me, of us”, phenomena, then I say this with the gentlest hand on my heart…build a bridge and get over it sister!

IT’S YOUR RELATIONSHIP…nobody else’s, yours!

Find a way to release all that conditioning. All those old beliefs that no longer serve you.

The only people who need to have any kind of say in your relationship, is you and your partner. You alone cannot achieve said outcome, in my most humble of opinions. They don’t say ‘it takes two to tango’ for no reason.

Some rules, guidelines, are solid and good for us, such as it taking two to tango. Some are so outdated the only benefit you could ever receive from them would be to wear them to a bad taste party, such as tango partners being restricted to only male and female!

I guess it comes down to priorities. Do you want to be loved by everyone else, which in reality, is never going to happen, or the man you love? Not that I’m saying he doesn’t love you already…what I am saying is you are the two most important people in your relationship. That is of course assuming you are in a relationship made for two…

Relationships themselves come in all manner of shapes and forms these days. I’m speaking from the perspective I know best, the two fold, me and my bisexual husband. Which isn’t all he’s made up of by the way. It’s a part of who he is, a significant part…and I love him for it.

I chose the man I love above anything or anyone else and by doing so put our family first.

It’s definitely been challenging and I confess to there being times over the years I found myself thinking there’s no way I can do this. There’s no way we can do this. It’s just not right.

Thank goodness I let those thoughts go and focussed on the good stuff, which at times was like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. It doesn’t matter how minute, it was still there!

Who do you choose?

Their happiness and approval or your own?

Big love & huge hugs,


Yes I Am Still Here!

Hello beautiful people,

Well it’s certainly been a long, long time since I checked in here last.

My health challenge, the one I had mentioned a little about in a previous post, got considerably worse and I was no longer able to keep this site going. My brain had decided to take a vacation, lights were on but no one was home!

Fortunately I’m well and truly over the worst of it now and on the better side of wellness and continue to heal in leaps and bounds (whoops…nearly wrote pounds!). Okay so there has been a bit of that too. I’m finally becoming more at peace with my body doing whatever it takes to be 100% healthy again.

Now that the lights are on and I’m home again, I feel ready to get back on deck and get this blog happening once more. Thought I was ready a couple of months ago…turns out I wasn’t!

One thing I’ve decided to do is make this site purely about the trials and triumphs of living with and loving my bisexual husband and all things related to managing a relationship such as my own which is considered untraditional, at the very least.

Therefore I’m in the midst of creating another site dedicated to all the things that interest, challenge, intrigue, inspire, motivate me and so forth, called Things That Make You Go Mmmm…

You can check it out over here if your interested

In refocusing my energy here I’m going to start a fresh, so if I repeat a topic or something I’ve already talked about…so be it. It will most likely come from a different place now any way, as my life has changed a lot in this past year or so. I trust you understand.

I’d really love to hear from you. What you’d like to know. How it is I can best assist you and your bisexual husband to live out your happily ever after, if that is what both of you so choose.

FYI, the Private Facebook Group didn’t really pan out. I’m not sure if it was too confronting for some of you or there just aren’t that many of you out there living with your bisexual husbands, or because I simply dropped the ball (so to speak). Anyway this site is for you. Please do let me know if I can assist you in any way.

Well that’s it for today.

Short and sweet…a bit like me!

Big love & huge hugs,


Etiquette For Private Facebook Group

Hello beautiful ones,

As promised for the Private Facebook Group.

Big love & huge hugs,


‘practice what you passion’®


Etiquette or Rules of Engagement!

Confidentiality is paramount.

Acceptance of the fact we are all on different pages, with different lifestyle choices and that’s okay.

Respect for each other.

There is no right or wrong, there just is!

The moderator(s) have the right to delete a comment/post if deemed inappropriate or aggressive to another member.

The moderator(s) have the right to remove you from this group if your behaviour is deemed inappropriate or aggressive to another member.

Overview For Private Facebook Group

Hello beautiful ones,

Here is the Overview (word for word as it appears) for the Private Facebook Group I have created called Sexual Biversity for the Women.

If this group resonates with you, we’d love to have you join us in the discussions we are having, will have.

See you in the land of Facebook.

Big love & huge hugs,


‘practice what you passion’®


Sexual Biversity for the Women Overview

The Sexual Biversity private group has been created for the purpose of empowering those women who choose to stay married to (or in a relationship with) their loving men (whom also choose to be in the relationship) who swing both ways.

It is here to guide you, support you, show you, you can indeed have your happily ever after. Sure it may not be the happily ever after you thought you had originally signed up for, however it truly still can be your happily ever after.

How do I know this to be true? Because I am living proof that you can do this! I’m now almost 21 years post disclosure and after many years of heartache and challenges l am more in love with my husband today than what I was 25 years ago when we first started dating and vice versa I might add. If that ain’t proof…I don’t know what is!

I also know I’m not the first woman to achieve/create this. I am however happy to shout out to the world as loud as I possibly can that you too can do this, it can be done!

At the very forefront of this group is unconditional love. The love you have when you embrace your husband’s (partner’s) complete being, including their sexual expression (as well as embracing the unconditional love you have for yourself!). Without trying to change them in any way shape or form to the way in which you think they ‘should’ be or the way in which a marriage (relationship) is ‘supposed’ to be.

You are the creators of your own world; you can create your relationship however you like based on what your rules, guidelines, boundaries and so forth are. Not someone else’s, yours!

Because this is a group of empowering women choosing to empower woman! Please leave all attachments to negativity, being a victim, the poor me’s, the blamers or any form of judgments you may have to how others choose to live their lives, outside this space. Instead choose to come from a place of love, learning, open mindedness, gratitude, releasing, choice, a positive attitude and welcoming the new.

I imagine there will be challenges along the way and we’ll be here to support and assist each other however we can. It will be up to you how you’re going to respond to those challenges that will make all the difference. Feel free to vent if you need to, I ask that you do so coming from a place of possibility and moving forward.

If by chance you’re not in a place where you could even fathom the idea of forgiveness, acceptance, understanding, unconditional love or the fact that you even have a bisexual husband/partner, as it’s too huge a leap away from where you are right now, have a go at ‘what if’. ‘What if’ one day I could forgive him? ‘What if’ one day I could accept his bisexuality? ‘What if’ one day I could understand? ‘What if’ one day I could love unconditionally? ‘What if one day we could negotiate/design our relationship the way we see best fits us? ‘Just ‘what if’!

What if one day is tomorrow?

Please engage here. Share what has worked well for you. Share what hasn’t worked so well and how you’ll do it differently next time. Or ask how could I have done it differently?

Empathise, uplift, encourage, support, suggest, embrace, respect, laugh and love.

I know I may be asking a lot of you, especially when I don’t know where you’re at right now. I also know you are worth it! As too is your relationship. Give it all you’ve got. Commit 100% to yourself, your husband (partner), your family and your life together.

Love is the only truth, everything else is an illusion.

If you don’t already know who I am and would like to know more about me and my journey thus far with my bisexual husband, you can check me out at my blog here Or if you’d like to get to the nitty gritty of how I am living my happily ever after you can also purchase a copy of my book Sexual Biversity, loving my bisexual husband. There’s a link on my site or message me personally to organise how to get your copy.

Also feel free to contact me for 1-on-1/couple mentoring sessions and workshops (coming soon).

Infinite Love & Gratitude.

Big love & huge hugs,


My Private Facebook Group



Oh My Gosh!

Oh My Gosh!

How reminiscent of me.


I forgot to tell you about the Private Facebook group I have created for the straight wives, women partners of bisexual men. That is of course, until a time I can create a Private Members Forum on here.

Hmm…on second thoughts perhaps it may be beneficial to keep the FB group going as well. Who knows? We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

This private group has been created for the women partners of bisexual men to engage in healthy conversations with each other. The how to’s, the why do’s, the where to’s, the could you, would you, definitely not should you!

For this group is all about choices, no beating yourselves up over something you “should do” or “should’ve done”.

Only the best ingredients for making your relationships triumph.

Because they truly can triumph, if they aren’t already!

It is a place to share what has worked well for you, what hasn’t worked so well for you and what you would do differently next time a challenge or issue may arise. Or simply to ask what could I have done differently? Could I have done it differently?

It is a place for tips, pointers, offers of encouragement, support, empathy, suggestions, reminders, recommendations and so forth.

Please be aware, it is a healthy space, a positive place, a lets be nice race. It’s not a hangout for the poor me’s, why me’s, ain’t even gonna try me’s!

On a serious note (not that I haven’t been being serious until now) there is a Group Overview and an Etiquette and Rules of Engagement document to be read and agreed upon to be a part of this group. I shall post them as separate posts for your perusal so you get the gist of what I have created.

I understand not all of you will be in your happy place yet and we’re all no doubt at very different stages of our relationships and that’s perfectly okay. My take on life is if you want to be happy, successful, healthy, etc, then you’re best to hang out with people who are happy, successful, healthy, etc. Rather than hanging out with people who are unhappy, unsuccessful, unhealthy, etc, believing they can get you there, wouldn’t you agree? Like creates like.

As long as you and your partner are both willing to give your relationship the very best opportunity for happiness, success, health, etc, then you my lovely are most welcome to be a part of this group. That’s all it takes, a willingness to give it a real go and agree to the way the group operates.

Why a private group? Because I know not all of you are as comfortable about being so openly public with your relationships like I am. For your privacy and from my understanding, no one can find the group through searching, see who’s a member of the group or read any of the posts, comments or conversations taking place. That being said it is the Internet.

Having read the Group Overview, Etiquette and Rules of Engagement and you would like to be part of this group, now comes the tricky bit. We have to be Facebook buddies for me to join you up or for you to request to join. So my thoughts are if we are not already FB buddies, send me a friend request (by searching Lyndal Coon) with a private message attached asking to join the group. Also if you don’t want to stay FB friends, please feel free to unfriend me once you are sure you are part of the group. I will take no offence whatsoever. I do trust this all makes sense. If not it will sort it’s self out somehow!

Well that’s it from me today…

I hand it over to you…

Let’s create a community of loving, like minded, open and supportive sisters doing it for themselves.

What do you think?

You in?

Or are you out?

I guess I shall wait and see…

Until next time, no matter where you’re at in life, put a smile on your dial…it will make a huge difference to your day.

Big love & huge hugs,


‘practice what you passion’®